Julia of Oceania · Poetry

Enough

I have missed you (but it’s not enough)
So much has changed, 
I’m softer now, I promise. 

My rough edges, concrete walls, 
The things about me that were so abrasive, that you almost couldn’t stand it-
For years I have picked myself
apart for what I did, and created
the barriers to protect anyone who 
dated enter (because I was something volatile, eruptive).

They still exist, but I won’t let them
wedge between us, or
prevent them from allowing me to say all the things that need to be said:
(Whisper all the little niceties in your ears) you are loved, you are so loved. 

Except that I will.
Because I am always so afraid, and
fear makes ashes out of promises. 

I have missed you,
But it is not enough. 

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