I have missed you (but it’s not enough)
So much has changed,
I’m softer now, I promise.
My rough edges, concrete walls,
The things about me that were so abrasive, that you almost couldn’t stand it-
For years I have picked myself
apart for what I did, and created
the barriers to protect anyone who
dated enter (because I was something volatile, eruptive).
They still exist, but I won’t let them
wedge between us, or
prevent them from allowing me to say all the things that need to be said:
(Whisper all the little niceties in your ears) you are loved, you are so loved.
Except that I will.
Because I am always so afraid, and
fear makes ashes out of promises.
I have missed you,
But it is not enough.